An unproductive fortnight
It started off by encountering this video about the making of some incredibly detailed reproductions of Van Gogh. From there I learned that they were on tour. The collection was in a mall, and had only eight or so pieces, they were however touchable. Normally museums get really mad when I start feeling paintings but they were super cool about it.
Shortly after we got back to our various homes I got a call from my mom, apparently there is some kind of old lady yarn cult in town who were throwing a recruitment drive. That’s how I heard it anyhow. I tried to find a link to the specific group but when I googled quilting cult vancouver the number of results was somewhat terrifying. These people need to be stopped.
Not to be outdone by our weird choices of things to do my other brother decided to suggest we go to the festival of wood which is one of the most Canadian things I have ever done. This is coming from a guy who has literally ridden a dogsled after waking up in a goddamn igloo.
They had loud fiddlers, poutine, and some very strange booths about exotic turtles… I really have no idea what the turtles had to do with anything.
The turtle booth guy made a very special point of explaining why turtles cannot take off their shells. He went as far as to show myself and a bunch of small children the inside of a turtles shell with its spine still attached. I get the impression children’s cartoons really piss him off. Between him and the lady encouraging children to pet a sea urchin I am sure more than a few kids were pleasantly traumatized.
One of the many poutine shacks had over eight kinds of poutine, some including all manner of insane ingredients like bell peppers or friggan sauerkraut. What I did not see that I was hoping for was the guys with chainsaws who do wood carving. It’s amazing to see some furry woodsman who smells of unwashed yak grab a gas powered tree killing machine and produce amazingly detailed artwork in a few seconds.