Christmas with Cat Science

Vagabond Tim
Deep in thought Dr. Rors ponders his most recent results

Deep in thought Dr. Rors ponders his most recent results

My family has a long tradition of poor planning and failed events, as a result I spent the majority of Christmas day tormenting my roommates cat as no one else was home. Recently Rorschach, the cat in question, had received a few early Christmas gifts in the hopes that he would not become overly insane from boredom in our collective absence. This proved unneeded although certainly entertaining.

What we did not realize at the time of purchasing what appeared to be simply a ball in a circular tube was that this was the equivalent of the Large Hadron Collider for cats and would result in many hours of what we termed ‘Cat Science’

Dr. Rors, or schachface if you prefer was immediately intrigued by the balls apparent mobility in horizontal directions while being unable to move vertically thus remaining trapped in its track. Josh and I showed him on numerous occasions that with the benefit of opposable thumbs we can simply lift the ball from its track, this led to an arduous attempt on his part to replicate our findings.

Having determined that varying the force of swatting the ball simply varied the time it took the ball to return to its starting position he became somewhat frustrated and began expanding the parameters of his experimentation through the use of tools, namely stuffed mice and plastic springs. While I watched him load small objects into the track and proceed to whack the ball at them I was curious if he was attempting to build a ramp or investigating transient properties of mass, specifically the ability to be removed from the track.

To date Dr. Rors has yet to produce any publishable results, due in large part to his most shoddy note taking and somewhat less than rigorous scientific methods. I feel personally blessed to have been present to witness the birth of this new field of science, however the government has declined my attempts to have my basement rezoned and my taxes lowered stating in no uncertain terms that simply being called Doctor does not mean that his work area is in fact a laboratory.

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