Hungry man dinners

Vagabond Tim

Dear Swanson,

I am a fan of your Hungry Man line of products, who else can make sure that the corn is evenly dispersed through such a variety of foods. The corn and cranberry dessert and corn in mashed potatoes being a perennial favorite. Literally every dish with corn included has a patina of corn across every section which should have been the first warning sign that whatever process you use was capable of generating the affront to which I am responding with this letter.

Worst Brownie Ever

The other day I was preparing one of them for lunch and noticed two things that again should have alerted me to the impending taste disaster I was about to encounter. First there were only seven not eight items in the Popcorn Chicken section, and second the brownie appeared over-sized.

Three minutes later I carefully extracted the brownie as per the instructions and noted it was somewhat less done cooking than it normally is, however I attributed this to its increased mass and put the rest back in the microwave for the additional three minutes.

Finally having plated the ‘food’ and now seated I proceeded to absent-mindedly consume it while watching television. Upon finishing all but the brownie I placed half of it in my mouth and before a single bite was completed realized the horror of what had truly transpired, you see there was a half cooked chicken ball hidden within the brownie. This is not a flavor combination I would advise pursuing in future variants.

Had I the presence of mind to photograph this atrocity rest assured I would have, however I was somewhat consumed with the effort towards cleansing my palate of raw chicken.

In summation it is acceptable to a certain degree that you manage to get corn literally everywhere, but do try to be more careful with the salmonella brownies in the future.

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