Strange days and delays

Categories:Adventures, Canada
Vagabond Tim
So assuming you have been paying attention you will have noticed a fairly sharp decline in the frequency of my posts. There are a bunch of reasons that involve poor internet connections and hoboing around Canada. I’ll just give you a quick synopsis of some of the random crap I neglected to write about.

Mom, the north pole, and bad internet connections
So having returned from Jasper to my mom’s place in the middle of god damn nowhere we discovered that the internet was cutting out every few seconds. This made almost any task impossible. After a few days of cleaning and checking every connection I determined it was not a problem with our machines and called the company. The next day we have some overall clad yahoo installing a giant metal tower on the roof. The house looks like it has a friggan mast now. But at least the internet still doesn’t work…

I then escaped south, mind you when you live at the north pole every direction is south. Hanging out with my kid sister was fun although she drives like she doesn’t want to live. From there I went further south to visit more of my strange friends before I flee back to Nepal.

Red deer, Psychotic Cats, and Bomb threats
Red Deer is a weird little city with delusions of grandeur and a marked overpopulation of cow enthusiasts. Here I visited my some friends of mine with a demented cat named Pandora. This hateful beast will block a hallway and hiss and howl from the depths of hell one minute and then hop up on the couch next to you and be all cute the next. This however is a ruse, as soon as you drop your guard she will use her newfound proximity to stage a surprise onslaught on your face or arms.

Low on blood and somewhat paranoid I fled to another friend of mines place for the weekend. I have lived with this guy off and on several times over the years, I should have known what I was getting into…

You see, Josh has some peculiar preferences in life. For example he thinks that ouchless toilet paper is a wasteful frivolity or something along those lines. The end result being that I, half asleep and before my morning coffee, had an uncomfortable encounter with what I assume was 40 grit sandpaper in an uncomfortable place.

Added to this is his staunch refusal to accept that microwaving a burrito is not an excuse to go all Jack Bauer in your kitchen. I am sitting here watching a grown man sneak up on his microwave, sweat beading down his face. His eye twitches as he crosses himself and breathes deeply, worried it might be his last breath. Fear mastered, a consummate professional, he sets himself to his task and attempts to defuse the ‘bomb’. I hear him thank Jesus and watch him wipe his brow as he extracts his burrito from the microwave. The counter silently bearing testimony to how close he came to allowing his food to fully cook. One second remains.

From here I have a few more days of running around, but I should be in Kathmandu again by September 8th. or Bhadra 22. 2071 local time.

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Moving things on one of the few days where the ground is not covered in a blanket of snow. Canadians call this week of less snow ‘Summer’

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If one drives far enough there is in fact topography in Alberta. The problem is that most countries are smaller than Alberta so it is a very long drive.

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Aubrey’s ferocious attack cat pretending to be harmless and cute. DO NOT BE DECEIVED!!!

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Random encounter with a Jedi at Edmontons Klondike days. This is among the most proudly hillbilly festivals in western Canada.

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