How I Survived Voluntary Kidnapping

Ordinarily my posts are fairly short as I generally spend a few hours following monkeys, attending some event, or throwing paint at children before I become dangerously low on caffeine. There is nothing more depraved and unpredictable than a Tim in the midst of caffeine withdrawal.

Waipu Cow Days

Waipu has around 1500 human inhabitants as well as an insane number of sheep and cows, today I attended a festival of tiny humans and tiny cows. The kids were running little shops selling numerous forms of grilled cow in plain view of the tiny cows, perhaps as a warning. Watching small children trying to…

10 Rules for traveling with Tim

There are many small rules we all impose on ourselves and others in ordinary life, these become magnified to an incredible degree when trapped together for a prolonged period of time. Anyone who has ever struggled to find a place to hide the body of a former loved one during a road trip because they wouldn’t stop singing show tunes can attest to a few things, firstly that dead weight is really heavy, and second that the most normal people can become intolerable without a few ground rules in place.

The Outlandish Origin story of Waipu

In the 18th and 19th century wealthy Scotsmen decided that the English had a point years ago when they said that the problem with Scotland was that it was filled with Scottish people. The result was something called the Highland Clearances where they did everything in their power to remove families from their homesteads and…

Strange mornings

I was seated at a table with Johnny Depp and a mid eighties Mickey Rourke playing cards, the table was tattered, faded felt peeling back from the wood beneath. Through the odd sepia toned lights and smoke I noticed they they were both beginning to grow impatient, which reminded me I should probably play a…

Give a man a fish foundations

Few things cause me to want to reach into the television and choke someone more than the commercials for these sickening organizations. Let it be stated very clearly : Giving someone food does not cure endemic starvation! I will limit my argument to Africa as despite the issues being nearly universal among famine blighted areas…