Vagabond Tim
Waipu has around 1500 human inhabitants as well as an insane number of sheep and cows, today I attended a festival of tiny humans and tiny cows. The kids were running little shops selling numerous forms of grilled cow in plain view of the tiny cows, perhaps as a warning.

Watching small children trying to direct animals easily thrice their size was entertaining, in most cases the kids were simply being pulled around helplessly as the cows wandered about as they pleased completely without regard to the wishes of the children.

There was a parade of cows and prizes given to the children, however much like terribly unfair ceremony at the end of Star Wars only the humans received medals.

In addition to the cows there were chickens, and pigs of the Guinea variety.
A few strange things about New Zealand should be mentioned, for starters everyone knows chickens as chooks. I have discovered that this is some kind of Aussie slang that ‘crossed the ditch’ into NZ parlance.
Additionally there are far more sheep than people, in the order of 80X as many, but they were notably absent from the festivities, perhaps due to a sympathy strike for the tiny cows who received none of their well deserved accolades.

The various shops selling grilled things and shakes were collecting money to ship the kids off to some field trip to a nearby town, Ruakaka I believe. I bought a shake that turned out to be what amounted to chocolate milk briefly shown a blender, but hey it goes to shipping kids off somewhere other than where I am which I completely support.

Gwen was wandering about helping her kids at the shake shop and smiling in some sort of manic fit that I was able to catch on camera, I decided it was to funny not to share despite its potential for use in future blackmail. Luckily the rain and wind decided to wait until the event closed, only unleashing its pent up tropical fury as we began walking home.


This was the most fair human to cow size ratio at the event, in most cases it was simply children being dragged about by confused bovines


Commonly known as Guinea Pigs despite not being from Guinea and not being related to pigs, I hereby propose we call then Andean Grass Rodents.


Gwen is one of the insane locals employed at the Clansman Motel, seen here helping her kids run a shop at cow days

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