Worlds largest Habitrail

Calgary is famous for many things, some of which are somewhat embarrassing. For example the ‘Calgary tower’ locally referred to by many as the prairie penis. This reminds me of the antenna atop Bender Bending Rodriguez, which leads to the slightly less famous but far more awesome feature of Calgary.

The worlds largest (Screw you Minneapolis, I didn’t say continuous) human Habitrail. Essentially a series of tubes amid the Hoth like wasteland that is Calgary most of the year.

These tubes connect the vast majority of the downtown core, including many residences. This led to a really interesting and very Canadian movie that no one else has ever seen. Waydowntown is definitely worth seeing if you have ever wondered what the post apocalyptic future will really look like, or modern Calgary… whichever.

Google maps of the system bears a striking resemblance to a sewer. Many people have complained about the system killing Calgary’s downtown night life, foot traffic, and so on. In my humble opinion, the crackheads huddled for warmth and the frozen carcasses of tauntaun littering the streets, combined with six hours of daylight is probably also related somehow.

The best part of this system though is that unlike places with the good sense to put transit into logical places. Calgary has decided upon a series of one way streets crammed with buses, cabs, trains, wampa, and snow. Above all of this, warm, and gazing downward in contempt stand those of us blessed few within the enclosed hamster tubes in the sky.

Calgary decided its skyline needed a giant metal wang

Futuramatube

Calgary’s plus fifteens are similar but not identical to those seen on Futurama

plus15

This is either a map of Calgary’s sewers or plus fifteen network, I forget which

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