WTF is wrong with you people!?

Vagabond Tim

A few times a day I remind myself that cultural relativism is important and that I should try not to be judgemental and so on. But some things aren’t cultural, they are the result of having ones head deeply stuffed into ones own ass.

Some of these are more common in some areas than others, but idiots can be found anywhere. If you recognize yourself or people you know doing these things stop them, violently if necessary.

1. Littering:
I use the term a little loosely because what I observe goes way beyond casual littering.
Use a napkin in a restaurant, chuck it on the ground. Disposing of it yourself or leaving it on the table, although actually simpler most of the time, simply isn’t stupid enough for some people.

Done with a wrapper outdoors, chuck it on the ground, why not, there’s already garbage everywhere anyway.

While we are at it why not just relieve yourself directly onto the street. It’s a literal shit hole anyway (Looking at you on this one South Asia).

2. Taps can be tricky:
Instead of turning taps off lets just let them run endlessly, or if we do turn them off let’s make sure we don’t turn them all the way off. If we did that they wouldn’t drip incessantly and then what would the cockroaches drink. Won’t someone please think of the insects!!

The added bonus of letting water drip constantly is that bathrooms become pleasantly mildewy and swamp like.

Oh, also it’s a horrific waste of a resource people sort of need to, what’s the word, LIVE.

3. Honking the horn:
Many people clearly believe that pressing the horn every few seconds for no reason is simply a part of driving.

The function of a horn is to alert people to the fact that a ton of steel is headed their way. Pressing the horn randomly ensures that people ignore it when it is actually important.

A side benefit is that areas near traffic are hundreds of times louder than they need to be.

4. Swimming upstream:
Are you a fucking salmon? No? Then stop going the opposite direction of everyone else you asshole!

When 99% of people are travelling forward on one side of the street, side walk, aisle etc you should be too. It isn’t hard to tell that you are being an idiot here, notice all those people that keep colliding with you? Yeah, that’s because your an asshole!

This is especially true on stairs, a good rule of thumb is follow vehicle traffic rules. To enforce this I suggest we all just start colliding with these people as hard as possible.

5. Stopping randomly for absolutely no reason:
In a crowded area stopping randomly ensures that people behind you will either crash into you or be forced to suddenly divert course around you.

Due to the fact that you are not invisible they will have to do so blindly and will often collide with the asshole who was walking the wrong way with whom you stopped to speak in the first place.

Let me tell you about a magic and wonderful place called ‘OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY!!!’ You should endeavour to be there whenever possible.

Summarized simply, these things all stem from the same self absorbed ignorant mindset. The world would be a cleaner, quieter, calmer, and above all a less frustrating place for everyone if we collectively spent a few seconds a day thinking, at all, about almost anything, instead of blindly repeating the same actions we have been doing our entire lives.

Leave a Reply

Your message*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>